Renfrew round three.

So I'm going to renfrewv in Florida on Wednesday.. It's so embarrassing because I was just there 2 weeks ago. I don't know how things spiraled down so quickly. While the beach was nicem I think it was a bad idea to go fresh out of treatment. I was at Renfrew Charlotte today and when she mentioned residential, my heart dropped into my stomach. "not again," I thought. I still don't understand how things got so messed up... Some may claim it's because I wanted it to, but that'd simply not true. I really thought I had everything under control this time. I feel like such a failure. I spent all night in the er last night just thinking, what the hell am I doing with my life!? Nothing. Nothing but being an invalid, sick person.