nothing has really changed..

somewhere in the back of my mind i knew that nothing was going to change. i sat there in treatment, i wrote every day, trying to get everything off my chest, trying to rid the baggage i was carrying around- somehow i couldn't. it felt like i was chained up from head to toe. no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't have any relief from the things that were tormenting me inside. everything felt so hopeless. i felt like i could never be in control of myself ever again. i was too broken to be fixed. my world was crashing down all around me, and i wasn't strong enough to hold it up. at that moment i realized nothing was going to get any better. and now things haven't changed a bit. self-fulfilling prophecy? maybe..