numb.

drink hot, liquid caffeine. smoking menthol after menthol. ouch, the liquid is hot! breathe in a breath of mint smoke, exhale and lungs clear. anxiety is reducing. the hot liquid, the minty taste, the unknown deep breathing bring me back. proves that I can feel. proves that I'm alive. sometimes when we are so numb we forget how to feel anything at all. I'm no longer numb. I'm feeling a lot. vulnerability is my middle name. but I'm going to fight.